The Strangest Life I’ve Ever Known #9

Thursday, 3rd August, 2017



“Never go full retard”. I think I might have managed it by mistake. I’m definitely feeling the comedown of the weekend now. My kidneys and liver are screaming at me. This is the first days work I’ve had since the weekend, although I did manage to pass my electrical health and safety exam in Tuesday. God knows how. I didn’t revise at all. I also had a meeting at the council about my housing. I can’t even remember what I said to them.


I’m starting to perk up a bit. A bit of sweaty graft will always do it for you. I think I was sweating pure and alcohol and narcotics. Luckily, it was only a clean up job so I’m Homeward bound already. 

Hhmmm? I’ve looked worse but I’ve definitely looked better. 


Christ on a bike! Now I have to get an asbestos awareness certificate. Earning money is becoming tedious. I think I can do this online though. 

Come on. More work less exams! Or someone give me some money. If only I could get paid for being a complete dick then………..


Right. I gotta shave. I’ve got hideous spots on my lip. As much as I don’t want to expose them, I gotta.


Tut. Now I’ve got a migraine. I’m going to sleep.

Friday, 4th August, 2017


Yet another day with no work. Motivation is low. When I read back through my diary, it annoys me how many promises I break to myself. I suppose that’s life getting on the way, as usual. 


Fuckeroo. It’s eight o’clock. I think I achieved some goals. Played a little guitar. Did some drawing. Done some paperwork. Hoovered and done washing. Took amphetamines……

Well done me, I say. 

Saturday, 5th August, 2017.


Tut. There goes my Saturday. I gotta work tonight. Nothing too strenuous but I need the money. I suppose I’d better do this asbestos certificate thing and get it out the way too.

I coloured a couple of doodle last night on my iPad.

It stops the brain from rotting.


The Retreat.

A few more hours to burn. I came down here to sit and do this, audio, asbestos exam. Which I’ve done, and passed.

Admittedly, it’s un-failable. The joys of being self-employed, I guess.

On the upside, I managed to colour another doodle. 

Sunday, 6th August, 2017.


Like any normal person, I have started the day correctly. Coffee, toast with Marmite, followed by a nice spicy bloody Mary.

I need it to endure an afternoon in The Beehive, or “The Dive”, as we call it. 


A bit of live jazz! Nice. Guinness, prosecco, smoking cigarettes(and watching captain kangaroo). It’s all good stuff. 


Now a couple of Perry’s have arrived. 

The Perry’s are my oldest friends. Two sisters, Lisa and Debbie. They mean more to me than life. They are my sisters. That said, they are a pair of Fucknuts.


Bloody Mary, roast chicken dinner. Sunday. Job done.

What a dull and pointless week.

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