Some Things Aren’t Meant To Be.

Wednesday, 28th November 2018.


I’ve actually got a days work tomorrow. I know! Mad right?

What’s mad, is getting excited about one days work.

Beggars, and all that.

Thursday, 29th November 2018.


It feels like an early start but it’s not really. It feels like a long time since I had to do it. I feel shit. Full of turmoil. Negative.

Deal with it like a child……….Don’t worry. I will!


I feel sick. I didn’t sleep at all last night. Sleep patterns fucked. Plus, my mind kicked off and wouldn’t stop running life scenarios.

I remember liking myself. Just for a while, a couple of years back. It felt good but, it turns out, it was fake. The problem with allowing others to inadvertently give you hope is, you want to blame them for its falseness. Even though they had no idea.


That’s that then! Our efforts for the day. 40 metre cable run and a TV mount. Gay Jay decided he needed to vacuum. I left him to it.

It’s looking pretty bleak out there.


Almost hone after making Gay Jay stop at Tesco’s.

  • 1 litre Bombay Sapphire
  • 3 bottles of Bitter Lemon
  • 2 bottles of Asahi
  • 50g tobacco

I’m planning on getting back into bed and writing the rest of the day off. I’m feeling highly emotional. I’m sure there will be a few Tena pants adverts on TV to coax some tears from me.


I’m slightly more chilled. Still a bit sad but hey! You can’t have it all.

Or can you?………I’ll rephrase. I can’t have it all.


I’m doing a cheat on RDR2 Online to make money. It involves deleting characters at a certain level and making new ones. Here is my current.

I really should be writing music or something. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe later……


A few characters later, I am now, her:

She’s a good looking girl.

After this is the forever character.


1/2 litre of Bombay in(I drank the Asahi hours ago.). I’m now watching girl Ghostbusters after eating a pack of Frazzles, a pack of pickled onion Walker’s, 4 chunks of Nougat and 4 chunks of Caramel. I tamed this with half a doob I had left over from yesterday.

Why? I think it’s because it had Kristen Wiig in it. I wish she were mine.

It always boils down to that!

I feel hollow.

I also really like Kate McKinnon.

…..for fucks sake!

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