Going Gonzo – O Death.

Tuesday, 9th April 2019.

15.13

I managed two and a half hours at work before I was sent home. Then I went to the walk-in center and had blood and urine removed from me. After that, I did a little food shopping, went home and got into bed. That’s where I’ve been ever since.

I feel like death.

Maybe I am dead.

Pfft. I doubt it.

Anyway, if there is anything to know, the doctor will contact me within a week.

Not that it will matter. I’ll probably get sacked tomorrow.

19.08

Now I’m paranoid. I can hear them talking downstairs. Talking about me. Talking about Louis.

Judging us.

This is the worst hell.

I need to beat this.

I need a drink.


Wednesday, 10th April 2019.

19.32

I’ve spent some time in hospital. It was great. Then I went home and spent some time in bed with a razor blade.

Not for fun. For Contemporary reasons.

Luckily, I’m a coward.

But just for a moment,

I felt alive.


I’ve not been sacked yet.

My nose hurts for all the wrong reasons.

Luckily, someone gives a shit. Carter rung me and asked if I needed anything. This was the first human contact I had in 24 hours. Amazing, considering I live with both my parents and my son.

I wonder what they would have thought if they walked in and found a corpse?

Anyway, I woke up last night about 2am with the worst fever. I shivered and sweated and moaned and tossed and turned until about 8am. When I managed to put on clothes and drove myself to the walk-in centre.

I was then admitted due to the fact I looked like an extra from walking dead.

My fever broke. I went home.

Carter dropped some cigarettes off. I took diazepam.

Gambled 20 quid on my credit card but payed off 150.

I have been swapping between X-Files and Simpson’s on Mobdro.

The truth is out there…….or D’oh!

I like lesbians. I think they would be quite nice to cuddle up with.

I feel like I’ve been here forever.

Everytime I move all this falls on the floor.

Also, I’ve been facing south for too many hours…….. It seems relevant?!?


Ladies and Gentlemen. We are floating in space.

https://open.spotify.com/track/7Bq0iyHYCOJ7lzRIC9fCDh?si=Eil_jUJTTSaUScFziTLBPw

All I want in life’s a little bit of love to take the pain away.

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