Going Gonzo – Lost All My Mirth Part 2

Saturday, 8th February 2020.My shambolic, half-arsed, efforts at getting my shit together, have led me here. Right here.I dumped my finances in the laps of scurvy bottom dwellers. The result of this was, more than halving my debt and making it manageable.Next, I tackled the mountain of ignored communication, which I categorised and stored.I’ve also had some movement on the housing situation. The movement being, the next property I “bid” on will be mine.It is definitely time to be cautious.What else?……..Hatred.Hatred has become a big thing for me. I assume it is due to my current age-realisation, but hatred has become a daily feeling. I hate everything.Every advert, every facebook post, every word uttered from someone else’s mouth.The time to realise my life long destiny as a recluse is now. Once I win a property, life starts,……again.Fuck the human race.


My indignence is apparent and I no longer care for the feelings of others(if I ever did). I feel that life is short and I have much to achieve in the few, remaining, rotting years I have left. I have many a vendetta to settle. A multitude of inflictions to punish………wait!..be positive.I mean,…..I have some worthy content to share. If you know me, you know that’s true.I’m a story teller. I love a yarn. Conversation is everything. When you find that right person. That bouncing board of constant renewal……….If you close the door
The night could last forever
Keep the sunshine out
And say hello to neverhttps://youtu.be/fND_Y6OgsDs


Sunday, 9th February 2020.I’ve cried a bit today. The reasons why are beyond my comprehension.Sometimes I just cry. What’s wrong with that?The weather and my mood are running parallel with each other. I’ve done my chores. I’ve watched re-runs of Parks and Recreation. I’ve drunk Heineken and Jameson’s,….and, of course, smoked many, many cigarettes.The only light I have is going to Lanzarote at the beginning of April.I really need to see the sun.


This is Jeff. Real name Kio. I call her Jeff because she is a bit of a “Jeff”.She does things like purring, sitting on my lap and showing me affection. The payment for this is food. She wants breakfast, lunch and dinner. Sometimes, elevensies and afternoon tea. Apart from that, I like her.


“This is a song of hope.”https://youtu.be/xbhCPt6PZIU


Tuesday, 11th February 2020.There is nothing worse than being shutdown. Someone asks you a question but they don’t have the manners to let you finish answering before:A. Starting to talk to someone else.B. Saying, “Yeah, yeah. Whatever!”C. Walking off.I would like to blame myself. Maybe I have just got to the age where I am just boring.Alternatively, it might be due to the fact that the people I work with have the combined intelligence of a chimp.This is probably derogatory to chimps.They all think Boris and Donald are great, anyone who isn’t white is beneath them, etc…..Ok. Now I’ve typed it, I’m going with the alternative. Although, I’m sure I’m quite boring………to people of regular intelligence.Anyway. The week is moving slowly.Too slowly.Where has the(my) joy gone?


Thursday, 13th February 2020.Austen Friars Out of the car and back on the train.Sleep holds on solice for me. So, I got on the early slow train and worked my way round the ring and arrived at Waterloo an hour later.Then I got a coffee and watched the wildlife.https://youtu.be/qFLw26BjDZs


We got the installation finished at London Gynaecology and I was on the 12.50 home. I had enough time for a pint of Camden before settling down for a little Quadrophenia. With what I listened to on the way in and whilst drinking, the train left, the rain started, then this……….https://open.spotify.com/track/2joSFBp4qDBL480mJ4nEG6?si=HWh7zVoYQFKoxqaZedt2jgI can’t sleep and I lay and I think,The night is hot and black as ink,Oh God I need a drink……..



Tuesday, 18th February 2020.On Friday, I drove to Reading. Worked. Drove to Stonehenge. Waited 2 hours for Sonny to arrive, then brought him back to Staines for the weekend. As per usual, i didn’t get to spend much time with him after he has seen both sets of grandparents.Yesterday, louis and Sonny both got in the train and went back to Somerset. Louis will return in Thursday unless he has an arguement with his mum.