Going Gonzo -Go Back To Go Forward.

Friday, 31st May 2019.


It’ll be summer tomorrow. Proper summer. With water fights in the street, bare foot on pavement, visits to the lido and Ice lollies melting down your arm.

Do you know those days are golden?


With the small amount of head space provided by temporary financial organisation, I end up where I always end up.

Thinking of you.

The best and worst thing that happened since the beginning. I thought you would be gone by now but there you are. Infesting every thought. Smiling. Beautiful.

No angel. Deadly muse. Lost by timing.


I’m drowning in self pity.

Chin up. Soldier on, because it’s all you know.


This is a much more sensible time to be at Feltham station on a Friday. It won’t be long before I have a nice lay down. I had my first fry up in 4 months today. It was lush. I really feel like a nap though.


One pint, one bottle of Grolsch, one weird curry and 2 blue Bon Bons later I am still awake.

The only question in my head is, what flavour is blue?

Saturday, 1st June 2019.



I’ve got dry throat cough. Typical. I can also feel it at the back of nose. Always when I have shit to do.

Crack On!

Today’s adventures include going to the dump, running power to the summerhouse and taking delivery of the bed.


Bed: done

Dump: done

Power: done

Canvas wardrobe: done

Can Louis move in tomorrow: yes

Am I fucking exhausted: yes.


I’m now watching Split with Louis.

I did promise but it’d a bit heavy for my current state if mind. At least he shows interest in quality movie making. After all, McAvoy nails it.

He told me he watched Goodfellas and Mean Streets the other day. He got his Deniro/Scorsese on!

Monday, 3rd June 2019.


Let’s just say, it was a busy Sunday but Louis is in his room. I was too tired to eat by the end but I slept well and I’m at the station. I’ve still got all my stuff to collect but that can be done slowly.

All I can do now is way up the benefits and loss…………..?

The only thing I’m losing is money. I’m always losing that so it’s no biggy.

Time to get on with other stuff like being a test and upsetting people. Two things I seem to do with extreme precision.

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