Going Gonzo – Backward Motherfucker!

Monday, 31st May 2021.

11.37

Bank Holiday

I’m glad of it. Truthfully. As much as it messes with my finances, I enjoyed the extra sleep.

I woke up about 45 minutes ago.

14.33

I’ve done a little music. But, more importantly, I also watched The Longest Day. Traditional bank holiday movie.

Spoiler alert: We Win.

It is also a day for, more hot sauce trials. I am merely awaiting the wings to cook.

15.16

Hot Sauce!

Yeah. I’m sweating a little.

I avoided, the dreaded, DABOMB! That said, I’m still sweating. It was the Cuban that got me.

Bastard.

15.59

There goes the day then!?

Alright. Maybe not quite.

Hazy Summer days.

I’m still not going out. Also, if that backward mother fucker from downstairs doesn’t stop with that hedge trimmer,……………I’m gonna cut his fucking hands off!

I wouldn’t mind but it’s part of the council owned complex. They will do it.

As his mum said, when I moved in. “He is a bit special!”

17.58

If you can, watch the episode.

2 heroes.

18.28

50/50’s. Old School.

Always roll two. One for now. One for ‘Ron.


Right! I need to stop fucking about. I need to sort out my travel bag, or Gay Bag as Jay used to call it.

It, basically, contains my everyday survival kit. Eg:

  • Pens
  • Notebook
  • Headphones
  • Mini printer
  • Cosh
  • Mini taser.
  • Plasters
  • Tissues
  • Masks….

Y’know. Everything you need when you travel around the country and don’t suffer fools gladly.

19.20

I feel,………organised?

Let’s see how organised I feel when I forget it tomorrow.

I see you.

Tuesday, 1st June 2021.

06.35

That was a really bad night’s sleep.

Sleep?

I think I finally went at about 3.30am. Alarm went off at 5am. My brain went into a worry cycle and fucked it for me.

So, I’m on the train from Staines.

Nothing ever shakes the feeling that, I’m running out of time.


09.03

Excellent. The Bouch called in sick.

Just me then!

11.49

I had to get out for a bit. It’s not the easiest of tasks by yourself.

Down the alley opposite Borough Market.

12.03

I bet the air con is on, full blast!

14.22

I’ve fucked it off! Given it the old, heave-hoe! Walked away.

The client who was supposed to open the Comms room for me at 11.30, arrived at 12.55.

I made a big effort, only to find that the door control git wanted to work on steps above me. I started to get frustrated, as the  the room is the size of a postage stamp. Life’s too short.

I’m on the train now.

I’ve still got to visit my parents, build a garden umbrella for a friend and grab a couple of bits from the shop(beer!).


I’m gruntled with going home.

18.51

It all came out in the wash.

Long story short. I’m great. Everyone else I work with is shit. I’m a god.

The bottom line is, my Guv rung me about 11, and said,” Bring Louis every day he is available from now on!”

This came about, due to The Bouch’s “no show” today.

“My plan is coming together!” He says, whilst rubbing his hands together like a Bond Villain.

Wednesday, 2nd June 2021.

07.08

Slough Trading Estate.

We have returned to, this, most glamorous location. Hopefully, to finish.

07.18

Good start. The electrician turned up to let us in only to find he left the key at home.

It’s an hour round trip.

17.56

The whole day unravelled after that.

By the time three o’clock came around we were, at least, 3 hours behind where I thought we’d be.

This means we have to return tomorrow.

Then, I had the “great” idea, to go to Tesco on the way home.

I had Louis with me, as he is working with me this week.

We got our 50 quids worth of scan and shop. Took it to the checkout. Then, the scanner failed and lost my whole shop.

“I’ll take you over to the normal checkout.” Said the woman.

“Er, no. Of I had wanted to go through normal checkout, I would have in the first place”, I replied…………………………………….

Long story short. As usual I lost my shit. Left. Drove to other Tescos. My club card had been locked. Return to first Tescos. Asked to see the manager. A fetus came out, introduced myself as the manager.

I think he could see the rage in my eyes, so the card was fixed quickly.

“Can you point out the person who said you couldn’t get your food without putting it through the checkout?”, he asked.

The woman was standing 2 metres to my right.

“FUCKING HER!” I shouted, whilst pointing an accusing finger right to her face(as I said, I’d lost my shit!).

I walked away with 18 bottles of Corona. No food.

Thursday, 3rd June 2021.

14.05

Just for once, everything went smoothly. Finished the Slough job, sorted out tomorrow’s work and the first few days of next week.

And……, I’m now at home.

I just remembered one “plus” point for yesterday. After the whole Tesco fiasco yesterday, I immediately looked for a delivery slot. To my amazement, there was one for 3 – 4pm today.

Not long now, and I’ll have, all my unhealthy food purchases(along with more beer and spirits).

But, for the next 40 odd minutes, I can relax.

18.56

Yep, food. Yep, alcohol. But,……

It’s Mary’s birthday, and with an impromptu texting, we are now waiting for Perry to collect me and Louis for a drinky.

We are going out, out!

22.48

Fuck! I’m emotional. I’ll tell you later..

23.07

I cry, because I don’t know how to tell the ones I love, how much I love them.

Friday, 4th June 2021.

08.27

I forgot to change my alarm due to drunkenness so, it went off at 5am. I must have turned it off as I re-awoke at 06.50. Bottom line, we are a bit late.

Just arrived at Waterloo.

Saturday, 5th June 2021.

10.19

It was an easy enough day yesterday. Only tainted by the constant rain and the unremoveable piece of grit I had my eye, all day.

We managed to get home at 3 anyway. Where I proceeded to squire saline in my eye for the next few hours. The grit came out eventually, but my eye was all scratched. The only solution was sleep.

It’s a lot better.

Now, it’s just a vaguely heavy night out.

Moving on…….

Today’s only task is,…..Costco.

Carter is coming to take me on her ticket. I’m going for all those exciting items like, detergent, softener and bulk food buys. Like tins and shit. It’s a blessed life.


Check your lucky numbers.


14.15

Back from Costco with essentials!

14.56

Now it’s time for Saturday cleaning. If I’m pro-active, I will have tomorrow to myself.

Everything to the right is done. The left……..? Not yet!

The general stuff is done but I like to do a big clean on kitchen/bathroom alternate.

I used to have a life, if I remember correctly!??!

Sunday, 6th June 2021.

10.25

Too many Red Vines. Too many brownies. Too much Game On.

Yeah. The TV show from the 90s.

What shall I do today?……….Oh yeah. Finish the kitchen. How exciting.

My eye is better.

15.50

I just had an argument with the boy. Usual teenager being lazy stuff, bit I tend to let it build until I explode.

Anyway. That’s fucked my day. I’m too angry/annoyed to enjoy or achieve anything today.

I spent the whole morning cleaning. Then offered him breakfast……….”Why buy butter that doesn’t spread straight from the fridge?”

That was the question that started it. It wasn’t said in a nice way, but in a “I think I should have everything on a plate” way.

He was lucky I didn’t punch him in the skull!

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