Monday, 15th May, 2017.
“All I know is, no one is my friend, and It’s empty at the end.” – Electric Soft Parade.
It just continues, regardless of input or interest or effort. No feeling. Just a dull thud inside my chest.
The drearyness of the day doesn’t help. I want to tell you how appreciative I am, but my sickness forces my indignance.
I don’t deserve compassion and should be shot.
Another day, another grimy shithole!
“The meaning of life” shit. It was easier when it was, simply, 42. Real life has a tendency to be an utter cunt.
I’ve done all the form filling I can do. Sent all the emails I can s nd and made all the phone calls I can stomach. I’m sure it will mean something, but right now, it feels like a waste of Time.
Tuesday, 16th May, 2017.
No work. No point. No money. Christ! PLEASE SOMETHING GOOD HAPPEN!!!!
Drinking Guinness in The George whilst Louis has his haircut. It’s a non stop merry go round of excitement. I know the diary has fallen on hard times. The main reason for this is my replacement phone. Its just about able to help me keep a record of things.
Wednesday, 17th May, 2017.
Another shitty, rainy day. Been told by latest school admissions that I need to have it put to the board of education, as to whether he’s missed too much school?!
So, if he has, what does that mean? He’s on his own? Fucking country.
I’ve got to be on the 05.38 tomorrow due to drilling restrictions at Canary Wharf. What a pain in the arse. I need some muse type inspiration to get myself out of this slump. My muse is slowly fading into the misty past( a bit of drama for ya!).
Thursday, 18th May, 2017
As expected, the rest of yesterday slipped away. That’s pretty much how days go now. Nothingness stacked upon nothingness. Carter went out and bought Louis some Key Stage 3 books to keep his brain active. If the Surrey education board feel that Louis has been out of school too long, they won’t grant him a place in any school. Fuck knows what I’ll do then.
Looks like no work tomorrow. It just gets worse and worse. I’ll ask if Sonny(my other son) wants to stay this weekend if it’s definately no work. I was planning on taking Louis into London this weekend to buy luxury cheese. No point without money.
*No more diary until my proper phone returns.