Diary Of Some Sort Of Life #32

Sunday, 7th May, 2017

12.24

I’ve been attempting to be a dad all weekend. I feel some what of a failure. I just don’t know what to do with him. I hate this limbo state. 

Monday, 8th May, 2017

08.33

Here we go again. I hope that this week will be more productive. I need to organise myself a bit better. At least I’ve sorted my phone return. Got the housing home visit Thursday. 

09.16

It all just feels like a hellish nightmare. I need a severe brain adjustment. Definitely, need more water. I think I’ve been watching to much tv. It always makes me feel brain dead. 

12.55

I’ve done a deal with my boss to do a free extra job tomorrow evening. It’s to cover all the time off, and slack effort at work over the last week or so. I still feel horribly shattered. 

22.34

I sorted out some basics. Booked an MOT. Made dinner. Jesus, life couldn’t be any duller.

Tuesday, 9th May, 2017.

08.53

Another dreary day. Nothing to do, apart from work. And wait. And dream of better things. That’s always a hard one for me.

” The tears of a clown, when there’s no one around.”

Miserable, shitty, wank, fuck!

10.07

The day is moving so slowly. I have another job to go to at 4pm. That’s 6 hours away! I’m doing all the jobs today. Just been at Tottenham Court Road. Now I’m going to Piccadilly. Then Bank and back to Tottenham Court. The 4 pm job is in Prescott Street. 

It’s a tour of fucking London!

11.18

As usual. Mass indecision on site. Surely,that’s why they pay the designers and architects? So, I went to breakfast. It helped.

I’ll distract myself with first world problems like, removing bacon from between my teeth and how small my, temporary, replacement phone is.

14.41

On and on and on, and its still only just gone half two! I’m sitting in the street waiting for my boss to come and collect me in the van. I can barely contain my excitement. 

19.20

All debts repaid. Now I’m on the district line from Tower Hill to Embankment. Embankment to Waterloo. Waterloo to Staines. Etc….. So I’ve been to…….. Ahh fuck it! Who cares? My back hurts.

On the upside. Apparently, my son’s replacement birth certificate arrived. Now I can crack on with some important stuff

20.19

Apparently,it’s not going to be that easy. I’m on a train that was already delayed. We are now travelling about one mile at a time between stops. I drank a nasty can of lager from Marks and Spencer’s. This is deathly.

Wednesday, 10th May, 2017.

08.26

It’s kind of sunny. That’s a bonus. I found a new pound coin, on the floor, at the station. I noticed, last night, I’ve put on half a stone. Odd for me.

14.25

Another shitty day dealt with. At least I have tomorrow off, even if I have to deal with the housing meeting first thing. I hope the weather is nice. 

I’ve realised I’m in the middle of one of the worst, creative, blocks I’ve had in a long time. All I’ve done for weeks now is, watch tv, play computer games and take drugs. The latter I don’t mind, but the first two are an issue. Too many adult things to think about, I suppose. All I want to do, when I get home, is turn off.

14.51

Honeward bound.