Diary Of Some Sort Of Life #27

Thursday, 20th April, 2017

07.16

I finally fell back to sleep about 5am. As you can imagine, pretty tired but, luckily,  in the cold light of day, my mind is less niggled. I’m sure I’ll sleep tonight now, that’s for sure.

07.46

No. I was wrong. I know full well what that feeling is. Always trying to kid myself. I think about it everyday. I just pretend I don’t. Hoping that it will fade but it never does. Even without the constant contact, I think about it daily.

I’m a weak, twisted, selfish little man. What else can I say.

11.47

Yep. Feeling pretty bleak right now. It’s probably the lack of sleep. Also, the constant annoyance of being rushed at work.

14.20

I was feeling a bit more upbeat as I’ve left early to look after the kids. Then, I saw this. Face of pure evil!

I don’t know what it was plotting. World domination?

21.12

I’ve had take out pizza. Had drinks.  Played with my kids. Watched TV.  Do you ever get the feeling that, you can’t actually see the point in carrying on? I’m not about to top myself or anything but sometimes, the struggle doesn’t seem worth the rewards…..does, anyone, get me??? Anyone?

Friday, 21st April, 2017.

07.51

There I was, minding my own business. Listening to tunes, walking through Waterloo station. Then, BAM! I nearly burst into tears. It hurt to hold it back. Pain, searing through nose and eyes. Why? Fucking why? Please leave me in peace, you evil, cancerous grey matter. One of my own songs had just shuffled in? It’s more of a song of hope so I can’t see it being to blame?

14.35

The most uneventful, tedious and annoying of days is done. The only plus will be, I am actually, yes, actually going to a new site on Monday. Even better, it’s at BFI(Britsh Film Institute). It’s a five minute walk from Tottenham Court Road tube. Which, in turn, is a five minute walk from Soho. 

I definitely need an hour in The Dive before home though. I’ve decided that my body is lacking Guinness, causing the mood swings and eratic thoughts,……..or I’m pregnant.

15.05

https://youtu.be/XsiiIa6bs9I
Girls are so shallow!

“don’t be jealous that I’ve been chatting online, with babes, all day.”

15.29

The sigh I released after this app was heard in Hastings. Did you hear it?

20.12

I’m still desperately trying to keep the darkness at bay. I’ve had a few Corona’s, a few Patron, a salmon dinner and a proper bottle of Grolsch. I’m now doing this.

It’s alright. Always mix your drinks!