Diary Of Some Sort Of Life #25

Saturday, 15th April, 2017


I have children. I am officially an adult and parent again for the next 10 days. Ha! Poor little fuckers. Fancy having a dad like me?

On the upside, they did bring my 40″ tv which will be handy. 

We spent the rest of yesterday setting up PlayStation and beds and rules. We did manage to spend £150 in TGI Friday’s and after that, met a drunken Mare, a beautifully, straight haired Claire, Julian, Jesse and Julian’s friend, whose name I have rudely forgotten. Damn my alcoholism! Where did we meet?? Obviously, the “Dive”. Long story short. Presecco, Guinness, stories, stupid. The usual.

The only other, notably, piece of interest was, Carter fell off the toilet in TGI’s. The toilet seat was broken. The funny part is she went back to same stall later, and did it again!


We have a food delivery. Children must be fed, apparently. Forgot milk though.

It’s all riveting stuff.


I have realised, recently.  During the writing of my diary, there is a hell of a lot more music involved. More than the few you tube things I put up. This said, I’ve decided to add a Spotify playlist with each diary entry, from now on.

*Corona no.3. Good work, I say*


You can probably tell my life runs to a regular pattern. It’s lunchtime. We’re in the Turtle.

2 quotes come to mind.

“Never underestimate, the predictability, of stupidity.”

“Mind that first step, it’s a doozy!”


50% of goals achieved. I’ve lost Carter in the massive, somewhere?

(for those who don’t know, the massive is Staines upon Thames. Named due to Ali G. An in-joke, between me and, on of the hags and oldest friends, Perry.)

The reason I’ve lost her, is because she left her phone at home. How the fuck did we function as teenagers??


I’ve found her. We’ve worked hard. In the words of Charlie Sheen,”Winning!”


One Vodafone contract, one junk food run to pound land and one McDonald’s run later. We are now happily back in the Turtle. The third time today. I’m already regretting the McDonald’s but it was for the kids,(alright, we all have a secret cheeseburger lust. Well. At least me, and a, ginger dog owning, friend I have!).


I’m shattered,….or drunk, or sleepy. Anyway, number one, I hate when people wear my hat without permission.

Let sleeping dogs lie. I’m fucking fucked!

Sunday, 16th April, 2017.


I think I passed out. I do remember making eggy in a basket and some cheese on toast.

It does look quite sunny outside though. What shall we do today?


I’m up and out of my pit. Children are happy and all is right with the world.  No nuclear threat. Pfft. I’ll be forced to enjoy myself.


Hhmmm. Interesting………..not really. I’m bored.  I’m watching Carter play this:

It’s a stupid game. I’d be more inclined if it involved Sherlock Holmes. Not a stupid, French bloke.

Wearing hepatitis contact lens.


I’ve just watch the Eligible bachelor with Jeremy Brett, as Sherlock Holmes(my favourite Sherlock) and Edward Hardwicke as Watson( also, excellent). Perfect Sunday tv. I’m now watching Hound of the Baskervilles. Yup. That’s how I roll!

Monday, 17th April, 2017.


Maybe a little less drinking today. Carter has to work so I’ll see if I can get some sun on them boys. Or, at least, some fresh air in them. 


It must be, random picture found on phone, time.

I think it was on a wall somewhere in Whitechapel. I’d have to ask “the blonde thing” for confirmation of that.


The day is rolling on. We’ve had child meetings in parks, pool at the Dive (guinness!), and now we are back relaxing at Casa du Carter. Life is a bitch.

Work tomorrow. That is a bitch!