Diary Of Some Sort Of Life #1

07.31

Usual, beyond usual. Rolling through all the places I have, at one time or another, played, run, drunk, loved. Now, just a blur of station signs. 

Ram packed tight. The lucky ones, early enough, to be seated. 

My mind has free roam at this time of the morning. Untethered of rule. Dreaming of her, loathing him. Dreaming of sun and promised adventure.

Just keep sipping the coffee.

11.02

What we call lunch in my working week. We only have the one break. So, what to eat? Who cares! Bored of choosing after all these years. I’ll definitely smoke some cigarettes  though.Dream of this evenings monotony. Last night I dreamt I was massaging aching feet. Strange. Not my first choice of things to massage.

Quick! Divert to the left!……..bastards. They lied.

11.47

Lunch is done then. 

It’s amazing what you find when bored, and looking through the photos, hidden in the depths of your phone.

Aaahhh. The good old days!

12.35

Stolen scene from a window that I wish I was in. Let yourself dream.

13.37

Hurry up. I want to leave and find some solice. The afternoon malaise is taking hold. I need a drink. A good solid drink.

15.55

Waterloo and City line, done. Waterloo to Staines, done. Walk home from station, done?………. Maybe not. The Beehive is just too tempting for me. A proper pub. Not a chain pub. As I said, a proper pub. For sad Wankers, like me, to get drunk in. Safe. I’ve been coming here all my life.

As you can see. It’s packed. I’m a popular fella.

18.15

Elderly parents eat dinner early! Yes. I’m living at my parents again but when you lose everything you count your blessings. My dad asked me to restore a picture of him, from when he was twelve. He’s 81. 

I’m not telling you which one he is but if you know me. You’ll know!?!……..ok. big hint, I’m not a team player either.
I’m four pints of Guinness in, one corona top up and finally feeling human. I function. An idiot? Yes, probably. A bad person? No worse than the next.

The draw of cocktails in on my tongue but not tonight. I must rally myself as I’m having my children tomorrow. Long drive to collect and long drive to take back, with little inbetween. Worth it? Always!

19.52

Managed a little relax time. Christ,  my life is exciting. Don’t feel guilt. Just enjoy. Just for a moment. Pointless fun.

Hmm. Maybe a couple more minutes!

20.51

I’m such a bum. I’ve achieved nothing this evening. I have up on everything and drank some more corona. Found myself watching Friends. Oh god. I cut my toe nails.

Tomorrow. I will collect my children for the weekend. It’s a big drive. I better sleep. 

What have I learnt today?…….nothing, but tomorrow is another day.

22.08

Fuck.soon to time to go again. I hope the dream is good.

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